feeling a bit empty

recently i've been feeling pretty spiritually empty - i think the whole rushing from place to place and being so busy with my life has led to me neglecting to spend time with God. i guess sometimes we are so busy with life and feeling like so much needs to be done that we forget God's rightful place. i've been wondering: is my relationship with God one of Him being my God only in bad times? i feel like i am more conscious of God and remember to go to Him only when i need something. the last few weeks have been pretty good and i've not spent as much time with Him as i should be. and me missing a few sundays in church because i was out of the country or too tired has just left me feeling so hollow. it isnt about feeling guilt for not going to church because i know that i'm totally justified in Christ and dont need to go to church to earn favour with God but it is kind of like how not going to church and dedicating the first day of the week to Him and spending time resting in Him just makes me feel like i'm missing something. perhaps that's why i've been feeling pretty drained and tired these days. it isnt that my week has been bad - in fact it's been pretty good. only that i'm just feeling so exhausted from everything. and i need to just stop everything and go to Him and sit at His feet. today in cell we were talking about physical manifestation of the spiritual because time spent worshipping and praying in all sense of human reason should not revitalise you because you spend energy doing it but how because it ministers to your soul, your body is rejuvinated.

i need You Lord. i cant run this race alone because it should be about You. i tend to forget about God in my day-to-day life and i need to change that. i need You Father to be ever-present in my life, to be there in the small things, not just in the big decisions i make or the big problems i need to tackle.

You are the God of small things. and i thank You for that.

Your Grace has found me just as I am
Empty-handed but alive in Your Hand