depressing turn of events but God has better plans for me

today i ran for tap dancing society vice-president. when i went there and saw the list of people running for post i was a bit disturbed because for vice-president there were 4 people, including me, running for the post and one of them was sam george. she is a second year student who is streetvibe equal opps officer this year so i was thinking, oh dear, she knows more people... she might get it. but then i remembered that i had already prayed about it and it was all in God's hands. and that whatever happens God is still with me.

well, i didnt get it. sarah, the present secretary told me after it that it was a very close vote and i lost by a few only. in some strange way it was nice to know that i didnt lose devastatingly. yet it was also bittersweet because i knew i could have gotten it if a few people had voted me and not sam. i was telling sarah that it wasnt so bad because i was already holding another post somewhere so it might have been a good thing not to get it. i realise now i was just trying to make myself feel better. i decided to congratulate sam so extended a hand to shake but then she gave me a hug instead. and becky too (who is the new pres) and i could feel tears well up. thankfully i didnt cry. well, i was rather skeptical as to whether i should go to the dinner social but i reasoned that i should go and be a sport because i didnt want to be a sore loser and i guess it just reflects immaturity to not go because you didnt get into the exec. as i was sitting there, next to sam, she was telling someone she had only decided a few hours ago to run. because she was bored in seminar and suddenly made up her mind. gee... thanks... was feeling a bit ignored during dinner but marie was such a dear and we had a nice conversation on the side.

when i came home and sat in front of the computer and well, let it out... i realise it now that i really really wanted it. i could have run for publicity and sponsorship because no one was running initially. only pres, vp and treasurer were contested posts. but you see, i didnt really want publicity and sponsorship. i'm still rather teary-eyed about it but i remembered that God knows His plans for me and they are good. so perhaps my blessing will come in another package. i just have to be patient and wait on Him.

and you know what? i was feeling a bit left out at dinner but the moment i stepped out, tim pegg called me from behind and in the short distance from the entrance of costcutter to my place, we had a nice talk. pretty sure He sent tim just to cheer me up a bit. so you know what? God is still here with me. it isnt the end of the world.

and it probably means i have more time to study next year.