lost steam for a while, but I'M BACK WORKING FOR GOD

i got back my Modes of Reading essay on tuesday and horror of horrors, she gave me a 59! (actually she gave me a 58 but blotted it out and gave me a 59). and it was such a let-down because i was expecting at least a 70 because this module was fully assessed by essays and i was hoping that i could use this module to pull my grades up to an overall first class (at least if it was a 70, my first class for that module is in the bag and i'd just have to work to get the other 2 modules to a first class). so now Modes of Reading is a 64.5%. was feeling down for quite some time and after that lost the drive to study because it would be near impossible to get an overall first class now.

but i'm back on my feet (hopefully) because i remembered what eliza said on tuesday in cell - she was telling me that her friend reminded her that even though we let God take control, we cant give up working because Jesus said "Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." and as much as i've been saying that i will work for Him, i guess part of me is also working for other reasons, like personal gratification.

but God can do a miracle for me - if not a second upper aint so bad (because He can bless me in other ways). so from now on, i will strive on for His sake. :)

and AMY WAN IS VISITING ME TODAY! not that it is a good thing if i want to be a recluse and study. but i dont need to study 24-7 to do well because i just need to trust that He will bless the time i spend on my studies. and He has been faithful and He always will.