Decisions decisions.... Opinion Poll

i have been thinking for some time whether i should run for tap dancing society's executive committee... initially it was just a thought and i was thinking maybe i run for something small like equal opportunities officer because i was afraid that it might clash with singapore society commitments...

here is my dilema...

singsoc term of office runs from nov 2004 to oct/nov 2005
tap soc term of office runs from march 2005 to march 2006

so you see, there is an overlap of duties... but i was thinking that since the singsoc major events are sort of over (am i right?) so maybe i can get involved in tap soc. i miss doing performing arts stuff! it was such a big part of my school life and second year is the best time to do it rather than in final year. other than the fact that i excessively stress myself when it comes to essays (this is because i feel the need to psycho myself back into the studying mode... and also because i am aimin for a first class... hehhehehe...), i do think i can manage. have been getting more excited about running after yesterday's rehearsals because the show looked really WOW!

i really want to join classical and modern dance next year! their jazz dance was sooooooo cool! michael jackson! and urban funk was stunning too... so dilema continues...

as i had my opinion poll yesterday, melvin replied me and told me i should definitely run. and he said to run for president. sorry melvin but the thought of being president is a bit frightening. partly because i was only in tap soc this year and dont quite have the connections as a president should. other posts that have been struck out - treasurer, publicity & sponsorship, liason officer, show co-ordinator. that leaves me with equal opps, secretary and vice-pres...

i asked a few people previously for their opinions...

jieyang said that if he was me, he wouldnt run because he thinks i am very busy busy busy... which is sort of true because i had quite a lot of singsoc events since singsoc basically organises small scale stuff and lots of them...

boss daphne said she cant stop me if i run but i shouldnt let it compromise singsoc.

my mom said as long as i get enough sleep and have time to chat with her online she thinks it is ok.

as you know, melvin said "RUN RUN!" and told me to run for pres because i will be doing the singaporeans proud. like HUH?

josh said that i should if i feel i can cope because performing societies and cultural ones (which is what singsoc essentially is) are totally different.

soooooo..... how? i have until 9th march to decide...

Coming into the presence of God

this morning i went to church (Elim Coventry) for the 9.30am service because i had tap show rehearsals at 12.30pm and wouldnt be able to make it back in time if i went for the usual 11.15am one. it was nice going to church early early in the morning again... sort of like the first thing you do for the day is worshipping Him and just enjoying it, somewhat like tithing... giving God your first portion and He blesses the rest. a big thank you to josh who gave me a ride to church (because if he didnt, i wouldnt be able to go to church at all! the buses only start at 10am on sundays) and anyway since he was playing the piano for the morning services i had to go like an hour early. BUT... it was nice to just sit there (after i did do SOME productive work like write an essay plan... HAHAHAHA...) and just have a private worship session as they went through like a string of songs...

pastor dave was saying how amazing it is that God is so big yet He isnt too big for us and our needs. or even just to fellowship with us. Praise God for that! over the last few months i have realised that since coming to the UK, i have grown to know myself better in that i SERIOUSLY need God. when i feel depressed He is my Comforter. when i feel scared He is my Protector. when i feel like sometimes no one understands me, He is my constant Companion. He and I are best pals, ya? He walks with me every step of the way, even though sometimes i ignore Him or forget that He is there. But that doesnt deter Him or make Him walk away...

God is great. Amen? i say Amen to that!

another year, again apart...

waking up this morning at 7+ am to go online and talk to my darling gave me mixed feelings... felt both glad to talk to him and yet sad to not be with him... it has been 3 years and so much has happened. we have had such good memories and bad experiences as well. surprisingly, we dont seem to have a good track record when it comes to anniversaries because last year he was in brunei on training and now i am here. effectively we have only celebrated our first anniversary together...

been having mini waves of missing him and i realise everyday how great a friend he is to me. and i love him. plain and simple.

it doesnt matter what we do for 'big occasions' like this... it's the times spent just being together, enjoying just being together... even though we are far apart, it is still the small things or sometimes the things he says that brightens my day...

but for now, it brings a smile to me thinking he loves me...

SUPER EXERCISE REGIME

oh man! can you believe today i had 2 solid hours of tap dancing rehearsals for the dance that is the most tiring? AND after Funkasia the few of us decided that since we had to wait till 11pm to clean up the function room, we might as well take part in the disco of sorts so my legs are super tired...

and i have a dress rehearsal for the performance tomorrow (today actually... it is almost 3am) from 12.30 to 6pm.

by the way,

DEJA VU is brought to you by the Tap Dancing Society in warwick uni... performing on 6 march (sunday) at the warwick arts centre theatre, 5pm and 8pm. collaboration with Streetvibe, Classical & Modern Dance, Latin and Ballroom and Breakdancing Society... IT WILL BE FUN! if you are in warwick, COME!

whoa... people can get high on anything!

last night i went to rachel's flat in claycroft to have dinner with her, addy quek and wei to discuss our plans for easter. just for the record, we are planning to go to slovenia and croatia which sounds SO COOL because i hate to admit it but I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO CONTINENTAL EUROPE! which is so strange considering i have been to places like Laos and Israel and Jordan, and the UK like 3 times before i started university. anyway, yes i did cook my yummy honey chicken (i successfully made it 3 times in a row but somehow because i had an instant success with my first one, it seems like the other 2 werent as wow as the first one. but nice all the same) and when i do somehow figure out how to upload pictures, i will post a picture of the ORIGINAL success!

so after dinner we went to rachel's room to search online for flights because wei didnt quite believe us that croatia is so ULU (out of the way, obscure, not so easily accessible) that there are no budget airlines going there. as for how far we got on the research, after we established that yes, croatia is ulu (which took sometime because wei kept forgetting what she was searching for which was hilarious! i quote, "what do you think? i can multi-task?") we opened up the pack of balloon things that fangxi sent to rachel from singapore. do you remember those little tubes of glue-smelling stuff that you blow into and it forms a bubble-like balloon thing that you play with in primary school during recess? guess what? i have never blown one in my life! so... it was a night of education. and perhaps it was the glue smell because we got REALLY high.

mental note: invite wei and rachel for dinner more often. laughter is good exercise for the abs

went to soul nation yesterday in the union and had an even better workout dancing with wei and rach and addy. sherwin and germaine went too! it was so so crowded and well, at the end of the day, i am pretty sure i burned a lot of calories. i realise that going to the union is only fun if you go with people who are out there to just dance. dont need to get drunk (i think i have clsoe to never bought a drink when i go to the union) and once you get into the groove (interspersed with lots of photo taking), it's quite ok. a few weeks ago, jia en told me that when she first met me she thought i was a snob. i remember becks told me that in secondary 4! so it has got to mean something, right? anyway, it is probably a good thing because i have never gotten hit on in the union! which means that people like me act as 'bodyguards'. perhaps because the union is only 2 mins away from my house, i am more "ok i'll go" than i would be. even then i realise that i have been turning people down a lot.

i am a boring person. but then i dont need things like this to have a good time...

films films films... today: Federico Fellini

went for a seminar just now on film criticism and yes, this is the Fellini class that i had a lecture for this morning.

first of all, i have to say that Marcello Mastroianni really really looks like an italian version of George Clooney! and we all agree that george clooney is cute. plus Claudia Cardinale is pretty! the two of them acted in I soliti ignoti (1958) and i was pleasantly surprised to see them in serious stuff like Fellini. and Giulietta Masina totally reminds me of Lucille Ball. much as i liked I Love Lucy, she can be a bit too in-my-face for my liking.

anyway, to the point. in fellini's films there is a lot of reference to the catholic church and he criticises them for being false and totalitarian in lots of ways. there was a scene in Nights of Cabiria (1956) where cabiria, a prostitute in search of some meaning in her life, goes to a catholic ritual procession to pray to the madonna (the virgin mary). the camera shows shots of devout followers holding up huge crucifixes and altars and she is so earnest in her prayer for the madonna to show her grace but after it all she becomes disillusioned because she feels that nothing has changed. the scene was very haunting because it was just so wrong that these people are in essence worshipping idols so of course their prayers dont get answered. i remember going to jerusalem and walking into the church of the holy sepulchre and totally feeling uneasy because of all the ornaments and idols and statues. God isnt in any of these figurines and we can never create an image for Him because it can never do justice to His glory. It is no different from the israelites creating the bronze calf and worshipping it because with statues, we look to the statue, not God.

i totally sympathized with guido (a famous film director) in 8 1/2, another fellini film, when he became disillusioned with the catholic church for the punishment he received as a child in a catholic school for associating with a vagrant. the church is supposed to be about grace and mercy, not about condemnation. and how can they call the vagrant, saraghina, the devil? yea she looks freaky but to immediately label her as the devil? what DID she do? maybe if the church showed compassion and accepted her in she have turned out a different person.

thinking about all this in class, i suddenly felt very glad to have grown up knowing the one true God and having such a personal relationship with Him. more and more each day i realise i am truly truly blessed... isnt it amazing?

wondering why i am blogging?

Hey ALL!!!

Ok i guess i am a bit slow to catch on to the whole "i'm going to have a blog" thing but i have realised that even though my mailing list for my emails have been getting longer and longer, i still have quite a lot of people that i dont fill in on what is happening in my life here in warwick. Yup! so all who have found me, I AM SO SO SORRY that i havent been emailing you... but hey! neither have you, right? :)

What is the point of this blog? Ah well... As most of you who know me well, i am a pensive person (i can hear some people laughing in the background) and today i was particularly stirred by my film class (we are studying films of Federico Fellini - whom my professor, richard dyer is apparently doing a paper on) and all these psychological/philosopical stuff started to come into my mind. well and being a literature student as well, the past few months of an influx of ideas and themes have made me think a lot and re-evaluate my views on life. Yes yes... cliched and all... BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE GROWN INTELLECTUALLY! I love school! (Yes i admit that i am weird) I dont care if you think I am anyway. So thanks MOM AND DAD for encouraging me and telling me to come to the UK by faith that everything will be provided for.

And by the way, to all who cant believe i watch approximately 3 films a week for class (some are watched twice so that = 9 hrs of film screening), I AM DOING A REAL DEGREE!