film is a REAL degree

Saturday, April 29, 2006

free speech and political action.

I realised last night when my mom told me she couldnt get to the LSE lecturer's blog via the link on my post that the blog has been down since I last checked and so my brother got to work gathering information to provide some information on the actual situation:

from his blog:

since the blog has now been taken down for reasons yet unknown, I'm ripping this off various blogs to explain the whole controvesy of the lecturer's blog at the lse-

From flyingfaeries

Erik Ringmar, a Senior Lecturer at the LSE Government Department, gave a speech at LSE's Open Day (basically a day when prospective students come to LSE to find out more about the school) that incurred censure by the Convenor because it was too... honest. He blogged about being reprimanded, was ordered by the Convenor to shut his blog down, but refused and has decided to maintain his blog to defend his freedom of speech.


When he starts off with a paragraph like this, you know it's going to be interesting:
I know we are expected to ’sell’ our programme to you. An undergraduate is today worth 3000 pounds and there is competition between universities for this money. Unfortunately I don’t have a sales-pitch. In fact, I don’t even have a Powerpoint presentation. However, I will try my best to talk truthfully about the student experience at the School as I have come to understand it. When it comes to a great institutions such as ours, the truth is always the best recruiting tool.

I think the main part of his speech that upset the Convenor was:
After all, the greatness of a scholar is measured in terms of output — that is, research. It is more than anything the number of books and articles written that matters to academic promotions. If you want a high-flying academic career you have to publish.

This means that the first-class teachers usually will have their minds elsewhere than on undergraduate teaching. They might be away on conferences, and even if they are not absent in body, they may be absent in mind. This is too bad of course. In fact it could indeed be that students have more opportunities for interaction with faculty members at lesser institutions — like the London Metropolitan University, say — where research is less heavily emphasised. I don’t know.

What I do know is that the in-class student experience often differs very little between the LSE and a place such as the London Metropolitan University. This may surprise you but it something students tell me. Instinctively I rebel against this conclusion, but I have come to believe that the students who make this point are correct.

Think about it! The kinds of courses taught at undergraduate level are pretty much the same everywhere you go. The courses use the same kinds of reading lists, with the same kinds of books, set the same kinds of exam questions … The lecturers too are not that different from each other. This is easily explained. Often after all we went to the same universities


Other parts of the speech-

You will all play your respective parts in perpetuating the British class systtem, or the class system of whatever country you happen to be from. This too is a meaning of the term ‘elite’ institution.

What can you do about it? Not very much of course. Except that you can stand up for the things that we actually did teach you. You can stand up for the content of your education and not just the form. The ideas, the insights, the thoughts and the dreams. You can stand up for a human, and humane, way of living; the sheer joy of thinking and of exploring.

Employers may try to take these basic pleasures away from you. In fact, I know they will. But together we will insist on their importance. As an LSE student we will make sure that these lessons stay with you for life.''

Other selected quotes from the blog-

''They’ve sent out a pre-prepared Powerpoint presentation with the official sales-pitch which I am expected to talk over. A pre-prepared Powerpoint presentation!!! Who are they kidding??? I have two PhDs and a conscience; I don’t go into a classroom with someone else’s Powerpoints... Surely the fundamental, underlying, problem is the commercialisation of education...When education becomes a commodity, academics too must become salesmen with a sales-pitch...Such commercialisation militates against our obligation to speak the truth as we see it. I’m not a salesman and I don’t have a sales-pitch. That’s not how I was trained and it’s not what I take my job to require...What a great business idea — to turn people with integrity into salemen!''

-------------------------------------------------------

my brother also put this up on his blog regarding the teacher's union (AUT) and their strike:

The union rejected a pay rise of 5% over the next two years, when inflation in this country is 1.8%.

And here is the official policy of the university teachers' union-

"Students will be far more damaged in the medium and long term if the crisis in low pay is not
tackled decisively. An assessment boycott is the most difficult thing that academic professionals could undertake.
It goes against every instinct of dedicated professional staff. It will, potentially affect students.
•
For such dedicated professionals to contemplate such an act is a measure of the extent to which we have exhausted every other means and stands as a condemnation of the complacency of VCs. For years, they have taken university staff for granted, passing off the
costs of under funding onto us.

We have been driven to this action by our refusal to withstand any more and by our commitment to education. Students have nothing to gain from being taught by a diminishing band of demoralised, overworked and underpaid lecturers.

Students will support us. If we make our case to students they can understand our position and will support us. Nationally, NUS supports us and we have formed a close relationship with them. We support their campaign against lifting the cap on fees and they support our
campaign on pay.

•In making this stand, we are not simply after more money; we are making a stand for the Sector. Higher Education is a huge and vital part of any civilised, developed and prosperous nation. But VCs have shown that they no longer represent the interests of UK Higher Education.• They have forfeited their right to our trust, demonstrating that they are unconcerned about the plight of the staff who conduct research, the staff who teach our students or the students themselves.

•Only we can now speak for the interests of Higher Education as a whole. The voices of staff and students together, represent the best interests of the Higher Education sector and together, we can persuade VCs to take our needs and our views seriously. But we can only do this by being willing to undertake the most serious action.


•Other professionals, such as secondary teachers, have only seen their needs addressed when they have reached the point of being willing to take action and have done so. We have to be able and willing to make our stand too and to say enough is enough, pay us a decent professional wage.
•
Industrial action and assessment boycott are our only options now and we have to be ready to use them."

----------------------------
It's stupid shit like this in the UK (the strike I mean, ) that make me glad the PAP government in Singapore has effectively broken the power of unions to strike. And my experience in the UK has made me more and more convinced of the evils of socialism.

Long live the free market, I say.


hmmm... i actually dont agree with what he said about unions. in fact, i think the AUT has valid claims to reject the 5% pay rise and campaign for something higher than 5% because of the low pay that teachers here are given anyway. come on, you would not have problems like this in Singapore because teachers are respected and paid pretty well, especially university lecturers. the government offers scholarships to bright students who wish to teach as a career and asian culture ensures that teachers are honoured by society. i do agree that the pay for teachers here in the UK is dismal and universities should be putting their money into paying the teachers rather than building fancy buildings (which in itself is a controversy - especially in Warwick when the money-spinning departments such as Math get very nice new buildings but only Math students have access to while the Arts Faculty has the oldest building but houses the most number of teachers and is most used by students). nationally, the government wants to raise university fees and i personally dont see a problem with this because yes a university needs money and with more money, your university experience will be enriched since you are getting better teaching/facilities. but apparently, teachers are not going to be beneficiaries of these top up fees because universities are planning to use the money to improve facilities in universities when the first thing they should do is improve the welfare of teachers. what is the point of having a beautiful campus when you have crap teachers (and crap because they are overworked and underpaid/appreciated). teachers are commodities in the equation as well, and should be considered when planning how to spend the increase in fees!

so while i do believe in free market (and thus an increase in university fees for local students - they pay a lot less than local students back home if you consider the disparity between their fees of £1,500 and international students' £8,700 a year), staff welfare concerns are justified and strive on AUT!

-------------------------------------------------------
in a conversation with my brother after initially publishing the above, he said:
"i think my comment on unions was taken out of context. i was talking about extreme action like this that is totally unreasonable that destroys all credibility that unions may have with an increasingly abject and angered population. it's like what people felt abt the hock lee bus riots in 1957. the stupid thing is that the AUT assumed that the students will be 100% behind any action they take."

i said:
"but considering how long this has gone on for and the steps the gov is taking, perhaps this is what it has to come to."

he replied:
"which is why i am thankful for the PAP in this respect. the point is that the union also refuses to allow universities to make individual deals with its own staff. the LSE is perfectly happy to offer their teachers very lucrative contracts but the lecturers are bound by union rules not to accept when their "comrades" in other universities continue to suffer. the LSE cannot afford to pay its professors shit pay because these people will just go to america where there is lots of money to be made."

we then talked about how the AUT thinks that because some universities are willing to strike deals that the rest will crumble soon, and also how the AUT is disengenous because they oppose the lifting of any cap on local students' fees but want more money from the university and not all universities are rich like LSE and Oxford.

my brother thinks the universities are itching for a showdown because exams are coming up soon and things dont seem to be moving as fast as they should. (in case i havent mentioned, the AUT forbids its members to set exam papers and/or mark assessed work)

*tumbleweed rolls across the screen*

Thursday, April 27, 2006

a different society that hasnt lost drive and conviction

today has really been a day of intellectual stimulation. in my revision seminar i had an epiphany (which i havent had for some time) and it got me all positive and feeling very encouraged and less worried about the exams (which is a good thing because when you are worried - note difference in worry and stress - you arent effective in studying). i realised that i have learnt a lot this year, not just content-wise, but in terms of learning about life and skills and making the connection of a concept i learn in this with another concept that wasnt explicitly associated with the previous one by the lecturer.

i realised that coming to uni here has been a great experience and real education (not just an academic education) in the sense that i have become more analytical and sharper in picking up/out things. i think it is just being in an environment with so much intellectual debate that has been beneficial. have i mentioned that the teachers' union has been going on strike and refusing to mark essays and even exams? not all the teachers are going with it but a sizeable portion have. this is because a lecturer's pay (and to be a lecturer you have to have been doing some seminar-leading and research for a few yearsand with at least a masters degree) is equivalent to the starting pay of fresh grads (with BAs or BSc) in some big companies. what has happened is that the university had threatened the staff with a 20% pay cut if they continued the strike and because they refused to back down, they have had their pays docked. which of course has only fuelled the situation further. i bet that this sort of thing never happens back home and we'd all just be a bunch of apathetic students learning what's in the book for the sake of passing the exams. i've come to a point when i dont really care if i graduate with a degree. i feel like i've been so enriched by university that it doesnt really matter. i just want to study what interests me because i will enjoy it, or what spurs me on intellectually because when you get that epiphany, it is priceless.

reading my brother's latest entry on his blog made me feel even more stimulated and excited about being here in the UK. this lecturer in LSE gave an talk to prospective students and instead of following the "official" outline given by the university, he spoke his personal views and now is facing disciplinary action because he blogged about it. they have banned his blog and unless he shuts it down and apologises, they are going to do something about it/him. this is his blog and this is the speech he made. i personally think the university is being so short-sighted because i was so moved by his honesty and in fact it made me feel like i want to be in LSE. like he said, it appeals to an 18 year old when he is being spoken to like an adult and given an honest assessment rather than the 'marketing speech'. and if you think about it, if people feel blown away from their university experience (and a lot of this is about expectations and disappointments because reality doesnt match expectations), word-of-mouth is very good advertising for the university!

isnt it great that there are still people so passionate about what they are doing? i feel blessed.

amazing indeed

ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
guess what i just did?
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
i opened a carton of juice
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
and you know how when a new carton is full sometimes i spurts out when you pour?
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
i got some juice on the floor in the carpet and on some papers
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
:(
Min: see Moon aspire to be Gambit says:
oh no..
Min: see Moon aspire to be Gambit says:
ants will come
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
managed to dab it off in time (the paper)
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
they dont seem to have ants in the UK
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
like you can leave sugar on the table
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
and nothing comes
Min: see Moon aspire to be Gambit says:
a country without ants!
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
hahah
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
yes
Min: see Moon aspire to be Gambit says:
how amazing

Mr Singapore hur hur hur

during a conversation with Chris, he sent me this link.

Frogs come from whales. says:
check out mr marine parade
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
hahaha
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
i saw it on ave's blog
Frogs come from whales. says:
eew huh?
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
AMK should win hands down
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
he looks decent
Frogs come from whales. says:
please go get an angmoh boyfriend.
Frogs come from whales. says:
i'm ashamed of my race
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
so that i will have handsome children?
ade - oh i actually do have something on next wed says:
haha
Frogs come from whales. says:
YEA

goodness gracious! everyone seems so tickled/disturbed by this Mr Singapore competition. Joyce goes to the website every time she needs to get cheered up/a laugh. and to think that people have been dissing the Miss Singapore competitions in the last few years for having ugly girls...

Banana Loaf

what do you do when you are bored and not really feeling like starting another essay? you bake a banana loaf. i've been using this recipe for ages from an ABC cookbook (one recipe for every letter of the alphabet) i had since i was about 3 or 4 years old and got my mom to email it to me. i remember that everytime i made the banana loaf, the mixture always seemed too much for one loaf tin so i adjuested the recipe with hopes that the reduced percentage will fit just into one tin. :)
what i did was mix all of this together:
120g sugar
4 small bananas, mashed
120g of melted butter
2 eggs
240g all purpose flour
handful of chopped hazelnuts
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons vanilla essence/extract
1/2 teaspoon of salt

pour into an oiled pan (with vegetable oil) and pop into the oven at 190 degrees Celsius for approx 25-30 minutes.
the loaf was a bit drier than i liked so on my next attempt i will add more bananas and butter. but delicious nonetheless.

"remember, prison got no broadband"

it is very amusing that both Singapore and the UK are having local elections next week and interesting to hear two rather different scenarios - the buzz in Singapore is all about how the government has banned overtly political blogs/podcasts/internet-related stuff because of some strange reason i dont really understand whereas here in the UK, you get bombarded with radio and tv broadcasts/advertisements urging people to vote in the local elections to have their voice heard. Singaporeans want to vote because of the lack of political voice/opposition there is to the government and perhaps people in the UK can't be bothered because nothing much is done anyway and/or there is enough drama in the house of commons to entertain them. in both cases, i think a lot of people have become disillusioned with the government (in both countries) and yet the opposition doesnt look that favourable either.

i just checked channel news asia's website and found out that my parents (and brother) will get to vote in this elections because this year the opposition has decided to contest in more constituencies and not allow the ruling party to have a majority on nomination day. [click here - why would i care for lift upgrading?] but then again, most likely the ruling party will win the majority, it's just a matter of how many seats they will get. in some ways, i dont think that having more opposition will be a threat to the ruling party because by allowing the people to vote, the people get a sense that they have had their voices heard (because we all know that a lot of people will vote for the ruling party due to a) the opposition not looking too favourable, b) contentment with status quo and c) not wanting to lose out on the next round of constituency benefits) and it will just lull them back into indifference for the next few years.

on the other hand, the ruling party has just announced a slew of MPs, and for a very small country, we seem to have a heck of a lot of MPs. which in a logical sense, means that the existing ones arent doing their job as well and there is a need to introduce more so that the job can get better done. which leads to the next rational argument that these new MPs might possibly add to the inefficiency.

oh well. not that i can vote anyway. i never seem to get any benefits/have a say in my country's government because i'm underage and thus even though i have CPF, i am pretty much invisible to the government.

i've written this with careful consideration not to be overtly political because, to quote mrbrown, "remember, prison got no broadband".

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

eeewww (but rather humourous)

this looks very interesting... but i'm wondering how he will justify the £2.50 postage cost... does he bubble wrap it or vacuum seal it or do something to preserve it?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

New Toy!

ahh the joys of ebay... thanks to a conversation with johann and josh's money, i have a new 'cappucino maker' for only 99p (+ £1.50 for postage) from a 'buy it now' auction!

whoohooo! loads of whipped cream and foamy drinks (plus cocktails) coming right up (especially since the 2 parts of my cocktail shaker seem to be welded stuck and refuse to come undone)!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA...

I was sent this just a few minutes ago by Johann and boy, was it HILARIOUS! :)

CRANK UP THE SOUND WHEN YOU CLICK ON IT!

Happy Birthday Shakespeare

thank you william for the great stuff you've written and all the tough lines that i have had to memorize. i would love to tell you how much it has all been worth it but seriously! what kind of a numbskull was Romeo? and erm, why did you have to have the jester in Lear disappear, only to appear in a footnote that he possibly died? and oh, i so see Hero and Claudio having a rosy marriage a year down the road... perhaps you were merely being sneaky about how convenient marriage is a convention and possibly hinting at the turmoils of life after the wedding. oh well...

on the bright side, your plays do still have relevance today (which should be given great credit!) and do explore some very deep-rooted themes. not a big fan of your poetry but hey, poetry is so subjective.

hope you are enjoying people celebrating your birthday posthumously and you are sipping your tea (or hard liquer) in glee somewhere in heaven (or perhaps having a party of your own with the worms and decomposing agents).

with regards,
your honest friend

first-thing-when-you-wake-up humour

woke up and did my usual blogsurfing to get me started for the day and read this on Ave's blog which totally cracked me up! just thought i should share it... :)

Corinne Bailey Rae "Put Your Records On"

this is my new favourite song! first saw her perform at Jools Holland's New Year's Eve Countdown Show and she was brilliant! all the celebrities on the show were right in saying she is the one to watch for 2006.

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Go, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that afro hairdo.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Go, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.

Go, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Go, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

early morning radio rocks!

this is brilliant! i'm up trying to do some readings (and sneaking some solitare in between) and listening to early morning radio which is essentially a request show. the song i requested, Say Say Say by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney was played, together with classics from Queen, LeAnn Rimes, McFly, Bon Jovi and Elton John!

:) loads of lip-syncing and head-bopping now...

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Never ignore a craving - be nice to your stomach

when you have a craving for ice cream cake, NEVER IGNORE IT!

you go to Tesco at the next possible chance and buy some ice cream roll-thingys (the closest you can get to ice cream cake) and then you eat almost an entire roll in one evening.

mmmmmmm... so gooooood...

a very British topic - the weather

oh goodness, spring seems to be whizzing by and summer suddenly on the doorstep. why? because it is getting sooooo hot (note i use the word hot because it does feel hot for someone who lives in a temperate country) that i can even walk out in a skirt without any leggings or tights. *GASP!*

and it has been so hot that i had the compulsive urge to nap at 3pm (all the way till 7pm). i think my body (or mind, in any case) cannot get used to the thought that it is spring and the sky stays bright till 8.30/9pm (if i take a nap in the afternoon i wake up thinking it is 4pm when it is already 7) which is detrimental to my studying because i work in darkness. YIKES.

a few weeks ago it was cold. now i barely need to wear a jacket when i am on campus. what worries me is how i am going to survive summer (especially when i will probably need to put some hours into studying for exams!).

AIYA!

i...must...do...essay... Oh! (insert distraction)

i'm sitting here in Josh's room trying to do some readings on Post-Civil War films in Franco Spain and what does he do? He puts on music from the Chobits soundtrack! which i have just finished watching the entire series of (Chii! haha...) and this has sparked off a whole string of distractions.

oh and now he is dissing Richard Clayderman. hahah... what fun... :)

Friday, April 21, 2006

CHOICES CHOICES CHOICES!

OH NO! the time of year has come when one has to choose one's module options for the next academic year and this year i am in a pickle! i have 2 options but i've already submitted my dissertation proposal so if it gets approved, i am left with only 1 choice.

Dyer handed out the options forms today and it has led to a flurry of excitement - considering that each 3rd year film module has a capacity of 20 people and those who dont have to wait to find out if their dissertations were approved (ie they chose not to hand in a proposal at all) can already hand in their forms (as opposed to people like me who have to wait till tuesday). in fact, one girl already handed hers in after the lecture this afternoon. how swift a decision-maker she is.

IF my dissertation gets approved, i will have to pick between one of the following that have already caught my eye (and more might come if i spend more time browsing the module guide for the Arts Faculty):

1) National Cinema 2 : Swedish Cinema and the Role of London in British Cinema
- a continuation of this year's National Cinema where we studied Italian and Spanish Cinema. Term 1 will be on Swedish Cinema [Ingmar Bergman's films and their function as images of Swedish Culture, Greta Garbo and Ingrid Bergman as Swedish exports, Importance of Strindberg and the role of theatrical tradition, Concept of Nordic cinemas and Swedish film culture as part of and different from them, Swedish Cinema in the 21st Century). Term 2 will be on the 2 cinematics Londons - the East End and the London Blitz and the iconography of London in British films.

Why i would want to do the module - it looks really interesting and i did pretty ok for my National Cinema this year thus far. in addition, i heard the tutors are VERY good in their speciality fields, albeit one of the tutors might be a bit difficult to get along with if you dont do your work dilligently (she also happens to be my personal tutor). being a film module, i wont have problems adjusting to the style of writing. the only problem is that i dont know if i can take so much film because doign film modules means a heck of a lot more hours of class a week and i'll be doing 3 film modules (including my dissertation) and it also means that i wont be doing any non-film stuff (which i might wish i was doing so as not to get too overloaded with film info)

2) Special Topic: 2 Major Filmmakers, Jean Renoir and Max Ophuls
-each year, Victor Perkins takes a module devoted to 2 major filmmakers and he has chose Renoir and Ophuls. Great artists who have had loads of film scholars write abt them, much biographical work has been done on them and they left significant writings of their own. Good module for developing skills in textual analysis and extending one's knowledge on European cinema

Why i would do this module - because Victor Perkins is teaching it and he is very good (even my tutors say this is a fabulous module). but then i dont know who Ophuls is (which wont be good for first impressions and first day on the course...) and not entirely sure if i want to do so much textual analysis.

3) Poetry in English Since 1945
- a module with the English Dept, headed by one of the Creative Writing staff.
The module covers a broad range of formal and linguistic approaches, a variety of poetics, and very different understandings of the relation of poetry in the period to belief, to society, to cultural dynamics, to the sense of self, and to thought. Plus it isnt just American and British poetry - they look at Irish, Indian, Carribean and Australian works as well.

Why i would do this - because a brief look at this year's syllabus and it looks fantastically interesting! i love studying poetry and chose not to do it this year so i'm kind of eager to get back to reading some poetry! the only problem is that i have no idea whether the tutors for this module are going to be good because most people i know havent done any Creative Writing modules or been tutored by any of them so need to do more snooping around.

4) Blake and Wordsworth
- a module that looks at these 2 Romantic poets and draws links with contemporary poetry. the module explores how emotion works, alienation, mourning, capitalism, the struggle between religion and secularism, and what it means to be ‘human’ - themes that are also those which have most urgently been considered in the late twentieth and twenty-first centuries.

Why i would do this module - because Emma Mason is brilliant (i've had a few of her lectures and i've been told on many occasions she is an amazing tutor). and because i love Romantic poetry and love how they tie it in with contemporary situations. Problem would be having to choose between this module and the After 1945 one.

5) Cultural History of Food in Latin America
- a History Department module that explores food such as Sugar, Chocolate, Coffee, Meat, Alcohol and Maize in Latin American culture, as well as the issue of Cannibalism. it looks as cuisine as part of nationalism, social class divisions represented by food, religion and its relation with food, the histories of food production and its export, and the eroticisation of food.

Why i would do this module - the module outline looks so interesting and it will be really refreshing to do something quite different for a change. i've heard the tutor who teaches this is really passionate about teaching and really funny (key to a good module experience). downside is that i would have to do 3 unassessed essays AND have to adapt to new styles of essay-writing since i havent done a history essay at university level yet.

So many choices to make! and i'm wondering now if getting my dissertation proposal approved will necessarily be a good thing... :(

i forgot to mention that my dissertation topic will be on dance in musicals as a reflection of the socio-historical conditions of the periods the films were set in and when they were filmed. i listed Easter Parade, Grease (1 and 2), Flashdance, Saturday Night Fever, Chicago, Sweet Charity, Singing In The Rain, Top Hat and Funny Face as the films i was considering examining.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

my love/hate relationship with university life

over the last few weeks i've been feeling pretty urgh about being a university student (yes, i'm supposed to be articulate but urgh is pretty much the most apt word i can think of to express my emotions). dont get me wrong - i love studying and learning new things. i love reading about things beyond the textbook which is why i enjoy research for essays. i love going to class and finding out something totally revelational and using that information to enhance my understanding of what i already know. i love going to class and voicing my opinion and hearing what others think as well.

now the thing is, what i cant stand about university life (or at least life as a university student in the UK) are essays. give me a presentation or a project anyday and i will gladly do it. i wish i could answer the essay questions in verbal form and be assessed for it rather than having to write it out. i dont know why this is so, but i find it so difficult to put my thoughts into coherent setences when i write an essay. i can write essay plans for them and draw arrows to link this with that and that with this but when you ask me to write it into something academic, i'm afraid i get all tongue-tied (on paper). i really shouldnt have this problem considering how i find writing a GP or history essay perfectly ok. But when it comes to writing a film essay or a literature essay, i seem to not be able to put what is on my mind into words. which sucks because i am a film and literature student. go figure.

yet when i get the inspiration i'm able to write in a flurry. and it always seems that at the end of the whole ordeal, i end on somewhat of an essay high and think, ok that wasnt so bad! next one please! but until i get to the end, there is always a sense of dread about my essays.

i think i'm not suited for the academic life. or perhaps i would have faired better if i went to a uni that had other forms of assessment. i wont even start on how much effort/headache writing an essay in the exams takes/causes.

i just want to get out of uni now and start working! i know that perhaps next year i might sing a different song and say how much i dont want to leave uni and how i wish to stay blissfully as a student but for now (and i think this will probably stay till next year) i just feel like i need to get out of this stiffling environment and start work. the thing about working is that when you are, you feel like you are not being intellectually stimulated (unless you are doing a job that you really love and learn/do something new every day). but once you work (eg over the holidays) and go back to uni, it feels like regression. GARGH!

and considering i wrote all this in 5 minutes, i wish my essays could flow like this.

BAH HAMBUG.

Monday, April 17, 2006

A reminder of days gone by

'Winkin, Blinkin & Nod' Written by Eugene Field

Winkin' Blinkin' and Nod, one night

Sailed off in a wooden shoe;
Sailed on a river of crystal light

Into a sea of dew.
'Where are you going and what do you wish?'

The old moon asked the three.
'We've come to fish for the herring fish

That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we'

Said Winkin',
Blinkin',
And Nod.

The old moon laughed and he sang a song

As they rocked in the wooden shoe.
And the wind that sped them all night long

Ruffled the waves of dew.
Now the little stars are the herring fish

That live in that beautiful sea;
'Cast your nets wherever you wish

Never afeared are we!'
So cried the stars to the fishermen three,

Winkin',
Blinkin',
And Nod.

So all night long their nets they threw

To the stars in the twinkling foam.
Then downward came the wooden shoe

Bringing the fishermen home.
Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed

As if it could not be.
And some folks say twas a dream they dreamed

Of sailing that misty sea.
But I shall name you the fishermen three:

Winkin',
Blinkin',
And Nod.

Now Winkin' and Blinkin' are two little eyes
And Nod is a little head.
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies

Is a wee one's trundle bed.
So close your eyes while mother sings

Of the wonderful sights that be.
And you shall see those beautiful things

As you sail on the misty sea.
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three: -

Winkin',
Blinkin',
And Nod.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

my pet and i have identity crises



adopt your own virtual pet!

Friday, April 14, 2006

5 magnificent days at the Royal Opera House

i cant begin to talk about how amazing the last few days were! this has been one amazing course and it was so sad to leave yesterday. it felt like we had been there for years and years yet it all went by so fast!

I got to watch the Royal Ballet in class and in rehearsal! they were AMAZING!
I saw Tamara Rojo and Sylvie Guillem in the ballet class!
I got to sit in the Orchestra Stalls to watch the Royal Ballet's Triple Bill
I STOOD FRONT-CENTRE OF THE STAGE IN THE MAIN AUDITORIUM OF THE ROYAL OPERA HOUSE!
I dined with Royal Ballet, Royal Opera and Orchestra members as well as high-flying members of staff everyday in the staff & artists' canteen (which has fantastic food and great prices!)
I got to meet Monica Mason, Director of the Royal Ballet
I also got to meet the Director or Opera, Director of Finance and Business, Director of Development and Director of Education (all women!)
I had the opportunity to learn about how they all got to where they are now and received valuable career advice
I made great contacts with Education Dept officers and managers
I watched an Opera for the first time!
I had my own backstage pass and could use the stage door!
I sat in the Orchestra pit and saw the trap doors!
I watched a new opera in rehearsal on stage
I saw a demonstration of the amazing work of the wig and makeup team
I made FANTASTIC new friends who share a passion for working in the arts industry
I discovered brand licensing and had a wonderful group and we made a fantastic presentation that impressed our mentor and the Education team! She even commented that she might even hire us!

This has been a fabulous experience! (and a week with so many superlatives used) I feel so blessed and so inspired! :)

Saturday, April 08, 2006

"remember the good times"

my dad told me yesterday to remember the good times and keep them close to your heart. i think that's how everyone should be remembered, going off gloriously rather than remaining a memory of sickness in your loved ones' minds. i say this because my grandfather passed away yesterday, having taken a fall from the balcony in another part of the apartment without anyone in the house realising he had till a few hours later. Tragic or morbid might be anyone's first thought but in some ways, the last few years have been painful for him as well as the rest of my family. It's upsetting when your grandmother suffers multiple strokes in the last few years and has to semi-permanently live in a community hospital; when you've heard a few times from the doctor that she doesnt have long to live; when you see how haggard your grandfather has become, having visited her everyday in the hospital and not seeing her get any better; when he starts to lose it too and his face starts to look blank; when your uncle/aunt/cousin calls to say that your grandfather has gone missing, having left the house on his own while everyone was busy; when your grandfather stops responding to therapy and dementia kicks in; when he stares at you blankly and not remember who you are; when he becomes just a shell with no more emotions left - neither happiness not sadness.

in many ways i shouldnt be upset but happy because he has been taken away and doesnt have to suffer anymore. in all logical sense, i dont even know why i'm so emotional now, considering how little i did see my grandfather in the past few years and how my relatives that did live with him, or had a longer relationship with him have it worse. perhaps i am upset because of all that he had to go through towards the end of his life. and that he left in such a quiet way and i couldnt say goodbye because he no longer knew i was his granddaughter. i think the last bit is probably the answer. in which case, that makes me rather selfish, doesnt it?

my dad told me that the happiest times with my grandfather were when he was 15 and they used to go fishing on Christmas Island (where he was born and grew up) before he was sent to boarding school at St Andrews in Singapore. And how they used to pick vegetables together. Last night as i lay in bed and couldnt fall asleep for a long while, i endeavoured to remember the good times with my grandfather.

i remember every weekend when we used to go to his place to have dinner - the menu was always predictable but no expense spared for a good meal. we always had roast duck, roast pork, char siew or soy chicken that was bought from the roast meats stall nearby. my brother was always offered the drumstick before me (which at that time i felt was male chauvinism but hey i wasnt too big a fan of meat with bones) and we'd always each have a bowl of soup (like watercress - one of those cantonese soups bowled with red dates and pork for hours and hours) while the adults shared one between two of them. i was always amused that my aunt cooked the rice in a microwave and that my grandparents ate bread instead of rice with their food (they'd have slices of bread cut up into squares - perhaps my aunt thought it was better for them because of fibre as they were diebetic?). after dinner my grandfather would bring out a metal plate with loads of apple wedges with the skin on, which i remember distinctly as the apples my mom used to give us back home were skinned. we'd sit there and watch TV and when it was time to go home, we'd say bye and my grandfather will do the manly "ok bye bye bye bye" and pat you on the back as you hugged him. i remember at chinese new year that my grandfather always seemed to have the coolest sweets at his place and the softest barbeque pork squares, and we'd sit there watching hilariously cheesey Hong Kong movies on RTM2. my grandfather was amazingly sweet and nice - his eyes twinkled as he smiled, and he always had this funny sniffle thing (always twice, and when he did his moustache would twitch and eyes grow so small they were just slits). apparently i 'inheritted' my sinus problem from him (because it skipped my dad) so hey that will always be a memory of him (in some strange convulated way).

i remember how things were always still good family relation-wise when my grandfather was still good and happy, even when things got strained, he still seemed so calm and collected. he'd sit there on the sofa and stare out at the sky outside the balcony in the living room and seemed to smile.

it's really cool to hear how older people i know who are Christians leave this world. i remember hearing at my dad's godmother's funeral how she told her other godson who's a doctor when she was in the ambulance that she saw a bright light and passed away in a serene manner. i guess the testimony that comes out of my grandfather's death was that he found peace in the midst of the chaotic world that he was living in towards the end of his life because he landed on some bushes as he fell six floors and had such a clean fall that he didnt have any broken bones or skull. he just passed on to the next life, looking as if he was asleep. the Bible talks of Christians falling into deep slumber as they leave this world, and in every sense my grandfather did just that. it's comforting that he didnt have to suffer even in death, and that God didnt forsake him, even when it appeared that my grandfather had lost some faith in God's goodness with all that was going on with my grandmother and family.

and for that i feel somewhat reassured too - that God was still in this situation even when it felt that He wasnt for so so long. and that as i sit here crying, that He is here to comfort me and that He will give me peace to move on as well.

Friday, April 07, 2006

In times of sadness I thank You Lord

because You've taken him to a better place
because he's free from pain and suffering
because where You are there is joy
because You restore joy and peace to those that are left
because You mend broken hearts and relationships
because You are still here with me
because You bring new life

and therefore I will not be sad but instead draw upon You for joy. Amen.

Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let fearful and intimidated and cowardly and them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be unsettled.] John 14: 27 (Amplified)

A Rookie Attempt at Ban Mian

what do you do when you have fried ikan billis? of course! you make ban mian (translated: board noodles) which essentially is handmade noodles with vegetables, pork mince, mushrooms and an egg in clear soup.

i've been searching the web for easy recipes for the noodles (one that would involve stuff that i actually had i.e. flour and eggs) and finally decided to improvise and agar agar (estimate?) the measurements.

what i did was mix 215g of plain flour with a teaspoon of salt and 3 eggs
and kneaded it into a dough (in the process adding more flour bit by bit)
since i dont have a rolling pin, we improvised with a glass! :) dust loads of flour onto the board when rolling out the dough.
slice the noodles to your desired thicknesswhich can be either rather thin, or fat and huge! (word of warning, the noodles DO expand quite a bit when cooking)
in the meantime, i made the stock for the soup and prepared the ingredients to be put into the pot when cooking the noodles.

Preparation Work:
1) marinade the pork mince with salt, pepper, soy sauce and a bit of sugar
2) soak some chinese mushrooms and woodear mushrooms
3) rinse a handful of ikan billis in hot water (to wash off some salt) then soak in hot water
4) chop up some garlic, spring onions and ginger (or use ginger paste)
5) slice up the mushrooms (save the mushroom water!) and put aside the stalks of the chinese mushrooms
6) remove the ikan billis from the water and save the water as well

To make the stock, fry the garlic, spring onions, ginger and ikan billis till fragrant. Add the water that was used to soak both the mushrooms and the ikan billis, and top it off with water and one cube of stock (chicken or ikan billis).Sprinkle salt and pepper to taste and let it boil for as long as possible, topping up with water every now and again.
In a separate pot, briefly cook the noodles in boiling water and quickly remove once most of the flour has been boiled off. In a fresh pot, add some stock and put the noodles in once the stock is boiling, together with some pork mince, mushrooms and vegetables. Drop in an egg towards the end and serve in a mega huge bowl!
Enjoy with fried shallots and ikan billis. Slice up some red chilli for a soy sauce dip.

The noodles didnt turn out fantastic - sure, they were smooth but there seemed to be something missing from it. It wasnt chewy and seemed a bit flat (in terms of taste). but nonetheless a good first-try. Back to more research on how to improve the noodles!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

A Cosy Lunch at Heronbank

what was to be a cell social turned out into a cosy get-together of 3 ladies at scenic Heronbank where i tried out a new dish - San Mein (Crispy Noodles - or as Cheryl says the older generation of Singaporeans pronounces, Crips-py Noodles)
it's a really simple dish -
1) boil the noodles (i used thin egg noodles) till just right and run them under loads of cold water so that it doesnt stick to each other and also does not turn soggy.
2) heat up vegetable oil in a pot and pop the noodles in (serving by serving)
3) when they have crisped, take them out and let them sit on some kitchen towel/paper to drain all the excess oil
4) stir-fry garlic, spring onions, ginger paste and add the pork, then the baby corn, then the prawns, mangetout, woodear mushrooms and beansprouts (in order of how long they need to be cooked for).
5) pour some chicken stock over the ingredients and add some oyster sauce.
6) ladle out the stir-fried ingredients over the noodles and add cornstarch (mixed with water) into the gravy left in the pan. bring to a boil and pour out over the noodles
the noodles will soften due to the sauce but you still get some crispy bits which make the dish so much fun to eat! enjoy with pickled green chilli (i had mine with pickled green jalapeno chillies).

we chatted and laughed over cooking, eating and Countdown on Channel 4. mmmmm... my kind of girly, relaxing lunch! thanks hsien and cheryl for having me over! :)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

my impulsive Zara purchase

i saw this in Zara while i was in Barcelona and HAD to get it! and i'm planning to wear it to my Hollywood Cinema class when term starts. :)
and it was only EUR 11.90! whoohooo! but i think i should at least watch the movie before wearing the shirt to class... hmmm...

Nasi Lemak is one way to cheer people up

i remember how farah revealed to me while she and i were eating nasi lemak in college that roughly translated, nasi lemak means 'fattening rice' and she'd constantly refer to nasi lemak as that so that she'd feel guilty and not eat it as often as she'd like to. of course me being the glutton i was (and in some ways still am), it didnt quite bother me that much because nasi lemak was too good to pass up.

last night josh and i had some friends for dinner, one of whom particularly needed to be cheered up, and what better to cook than nasi lemak!
essentially the rice is cooked with one part coconut milk and 6 parts water (i.e. if you cook 3 cups of rice, pour 3 cups of water mixed with 1/2 cup of coconut milk into the pot with the washed rice) and a drop of pandan paste (because we didnt have pandan leaves).
of course you HAVE to have the crispy ikan billis which i had brought from Singapore and deep-fried till crispy before pouring salt over it while still in the hot oil (very important to keep it crispy!), accompanied with lots of cucumber (the only vegetable for the evening) and hard-boiled eggs.
made some beef rendang from Brahims packet paste - which josh improved on with extra coconut milk and sugar.
thankfully the fried chicken turned out delicious - my mom had brought some packet 'fragrant chicken flour' which you had to add 60ml of water to to create a paste to marinade the chicken in for a few hours. it smelt like really strong Maggi chicken instant noodle flavouring and once the juices from the chicken started to come out (because of the salt content - salt brings out the water in meats), the paste started to become some sort of batter (like tempura batter) that coated the chicken, afterwhich you deep fry.
and we cannot forget the sambal that accompanies the rice. we used 2 cans of Cintan sambal ikan billis and added some onions to it while heating it up. the sambal's not quite the same as what you'd get in Chinese versions of nasi lemak in Singapore but equally yummy.

and the verdict? 5 people eating in silence for half of the meal. :)

Monday, April 03, 2006

URGH...

i've been on 2 holidays in the last 3 weeks and cant do any complete posts because i don't have all the photos from both trips because a) my mom says that the 130 photographs i took on her camera are too big to be sent in one email and it's too troublesome for them to be sent in 130 emails and b) lynn and jia en have gone off for Spring Harvest without sending me their photos!

aaahhhhhhhh! boooohoooooooooo! *dramatic faint*